Can't sleep, and I SOOO need it
Friday, January 28, 2005
I am miserable! There is a fog in my head thicker than the densest London has seen. My body aches in places I didn't know you could make hurt. Someone switched my nose for Niagara falls. The good news is, this all comes and goes. If someone is playing voodoo goddess at the temple on Mt. Olympus again I shall smite theeee-aa--choo
To top all this off, I have had two - count them - one, two - hot totties strong enough to knock out a herd of bull elephants and yet I am still awake. Where did I go wrong?
To my loyal followers, please leave gifts of vapor-rub open in the candle room as Hermes will surely spread them out for effect. However, do try to stay back from the statue, it has yet to be disinfected. Neptune is cooking up a good sulfur and steam brine to blast the germs off with.
Meanwhile, I am off to try another cloud. Maybe this one will sing me sweet melodies and I can finally dream. I must get ready, I have company coming tomorrow, and I have a date at the court of some Bingo Queens.
posted by ZEUS @ 11:43 PM, No comment,
I am king tort
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Avail! I am Intentional (or reckless) infliction of (severe) emtional distress!
take the WHAT INTENTIONAL TORT ARE YOU test.
and go to mewing.net. because law school made laura do this.
posted by ZEUS @ 1:56 PM, No comment,
What 1L's do with their spare time
Thursday, January 20, 2005
So it really is no secret that I am on instant messenger during several of the classes in law school. Most of the time, those conversations are honestly between myself and another 1L and we are discussing the answers to questions posed by the professor. However, as you may be able to tell by this conversation, occurring during the final class of the day, I wasn't the only one not paying 100% attention.
The conversation is between myself and a certain female 1L who will remain nameless, and started after a 3rd party "mutual good friend" was called on for answers by the prof.
F1L: Ha Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
"avail"......... you should kick him
ME: that's funny.. we just talked about a contract by which I get to kick him in the head here a while back.
F1L: I was thinking more along the lines of under the desk but the head is much better.
**Some time passes and the prof comes back to 3rd party friend**
F1L: seriously, kick him.
ME: do I kick now? hehe. I'll wait until he is talking
F1L: perfect! now we're on the same page. Now!!
ME: he is hiding his leggs under the chair
F1L: I saw!! Sneaky. Nice shoes, incidentally.
ME: Thanks!
F1L: kicking is ALWAYS funny
My personal policy: It is all fun and games until someone looses an eye, then it's JUST fun.
posted by ZEUS @ 2:16 PM, No comment,
If I had $40 Million
Tuesday, January 18, 2005
Mackenzie's post about the Congress and Torture coupled with a discussion with Drew this morning got me going on this... feel free to add any ideas you may have.
Just when things couldn't get any worse in Washington, and we couldn't possibly be given a better reason to lose faith in the government, Bush spends $40 million on his inaugural ball. Now, granted it is important to celebrate our "peaceful transfer of power." It's not like a "peaceful transfer of power" ever happened before in the history of our nation you know. And "he is ONLY our 43rd President," as I heard one defender say, it's not like Presidents are common. Granted, I am not the President of the United States, but I humbly submit a few ideas for how to BETTER spend $40 million.
End poverty worldwide, at least it would get things started.
Aid Tsunami victims
Armor plating for our troops
The continued rebuilding of hurricane stricken Florida
The war on drugs
The war on terror
Cancer Research
AIDS Research
New techniques in nose hair macrame
Combat domestic violence
Better equip our local PDs
Aid hundreds of refugee camps
Rebuild Iraq
New Designs in Underwater Basketweaving for the Lincoln Bedroom
Forgive the debt of a struggling 3rd world nation
Pay down our national debt
For just pennies a day, feed a hungry child in Rwanda
Fund an illiteracy campaign (Laura's 1st lady project).
For perspective let me state that Oprah could give her whole audience brand new Pontiac G6s 5 times and Pontiac (who donated the cars) would barely be out the $40 million (if you figure the car's retail value). I can't imagine what I would do as President of the U.S. with that kind of money. I can guarantee it wouldn't take $40 million to thank my supporters and 'Salute the troops.'
posted by ZEUS @ 4:08 PM, No comment,
Lawyers are people too!
Friday, January 07, 2005
So it seems to me that since I have started law school the people with adversions to and/or issues with lawyers are crawling out of the woodwork. In just the last week I have heard the words; "but [a lawyer] would cost a lot of money," "lawyers are money grubbing bitches," and "the law would screw you." The problem is, even realising that some of these statements were in jest, that they are missing the point of what a lawyer does.
First, yes the fees can get expensive. Although less so if you get your lawyer involved before things get ugly. Lawyers have traditionally been mediators in conflicts, and still today Judges regularly express disappointment that a situation was not resolved before it ended up in court. Think about it, even at $120/hr, conflict resolution will always be less expensive than going through a trial, retaining the lawyer though all proceedings and possible appeals, and risking a loss in court. A personal finance advisor is also expensive, moreso if you go bankrupt. But you don't see people complaining about them.
Second, if you did what a lawyer has to do along the lines of research, preparation, the writing of briefs, filings with the court, etc... and did them under the pressures a lawyer faces (should s/he make a material mistake) you too would charge exorbitant sums of money for your services. You may even think that most lawyers are a bargain by comparison. This goes for everything from writing iron clad wills and contracts to arguing your cause in front of whatever court/board is appropriate at that time. What you are paying for is perfection, to have it done the best it possibly can be done the first time. But hey, if you want Uncle Marty to come back and sue Grandma's estate when he got left out of the will, write it yourself. While it may be cheaper today, you could lose your inheritance tomorrow.
Third, if the other party really doesn't have a claim, there are scads of ways to get yourself out of going to court. The most important of which is hire a lawyer. Again, this will more likely save you more money in the long run than it will cost if you don't.
The things I have discussed here are even simply the tip of the iceburg. If you find a lawyer who cares about the true purpose of his/her job, s/he will no more take you for all you are worth than let your opposition do the same. A lawyer's true job is to make sure that with all the complicated laws there are, and all the sources we have for the law, that you eaither avoid or get your best day in court. This type of lawyer is far more prevelant than the "money grubbing bitch" and chances are s/he is who you are going to hire. I think the reason most of these stereotypes exist today is because good lawyers are only seen when they are needed, they do their job, and then they don't bother you when they are not.
posted by ZEUS @ 2:00 PM, No comment,
Warning / Reason
Wednesday, January 05, 2005
Warning: On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
Reason: "Bubbette, what happened to your hair?" "I dunno, just woke up with this burning sensation and it was gone."
Warning:On a bar of Dial soap -- "Directions: Use like regular soap."
Reason: "Maw, how does this soap thingy work." "Just like the one you use on the hogs at fair son."
Warning: On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- "Do not iron clothes on body."
Reason: "Come here quick Bubba, we's a late for your cousin/sister's funeral and I yous collar is sticking straight up."
Warning: On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
Reason: "Anyone seen Bubba Jr. he's supposed to go down for a nap." "He can nap after he digs out that new pond over yonder. We didn't have no kids so they can sleep in the middle of the day."
Warning: On a Japanese food processor -- "Not to be used for the other use."
Reason: Bubba-san is creative!
Warning: On a child's Superman costume -- "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
Reason: "now Jr, you get up on the house and try that thing out. We is taking it back to Wal-s-a-mart if-n it don't work." "Thanks Pa, this'll save me getting beat up on the school bus fo shore."
Warning: On a Swedish chainsaw -- "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals"
Reason: "Gee Bubba, that thing cuts through trees slicker than shit, but I bet you can stop it if you put your thang on it while it's moving" "Oh all right let me try..... AHHHHH"
posted by ZEUS @ 11:05 AM, No comment,
Moving Mountains
Sunday, January 02, 2005
Ok, so the old blog never really felt like me.. this is closer!
(By closer I mean as close as I am going to get)
Anything I can do to keep improving?
Is there something you would like to see?
Is there something you can't see, but know is there?
Please let me know.
posted by ZEUS @ 11:13 PM, No comment,
